Childhood
Academic prowess was highly valued in my family. Showing an interest in anything that didn’t end in achieving a good grade in the ‘pure science’ stream in our education system was actively discouraged. Even though I was always trying to be creative I was never allowed to even entertain that side of me let alone indulge it. I’m amused by this now because there is so much research around how intellectual growth needs to be balanced and that children who learn both science and arts experience more growth than those, (like me), who did not.
Later on
A lot of that is very painful and it’s difficult not to be resentful about it. It was also difficult to, as an adult, give myself permission to feed my creative side. Sub-consciously I was prohibiting it just as much as it was prohibited when I was growing up. As a consequence, I had waves of dabbling in creative pursuits here and there. Other emotional hang-ups also stopped me from making this a high priority in my life.
Over the years I ‘played’ with art, drawing, quilting, miniatures, painting, digital scrapbooking and lots of similar hobbies.
Circa 2015
Around 2015 I started drawing again. It was then I started to really be drawn to kawaii and cute illustrations as well as doodling of all kinds. I play around a lot with zentangle and probably did every kawaii and chibi tutorial available on Youtube.
I also wanted to be able to colour my illustrations not just to draw with them and starting doing colouring classes at Kit and Clowder for using alcohol markers.
My strongest influence at the time was to do doodle… My go-to youtube channels back then were Miss Wah, Garbi KW, Mark Crilley, Bailee Jae and Cinnamon Cooney, The Art Sherpa.
I had a personal web site from 2011 and my blogging changed to focus more on my interest in kawaii illustration and doodles. Some of the doodles that I did in 2016 is in the gallery below.
My first Kawaii Doodles
Then this Happened
Al and I got married on the 7th March 2015 (yes my wedding dress was lilac with white polka dots), we had a beautiful fun wedding that I remember so fondly. I also went back to university and started studying post-graduate Geospatial Information Systems (hmm yes not a very creative pursuit).
I don’t know about you but my ocd is really liking that all my drop caps so far are As.
Then this Happened
We didn’t just get pregnant, we were trying since before the wedding I even planned for backup maternity dresses in case I was pregnant for the wedding. Wedding planning commenced in 2014 and we fell pregnant in 2016, lucky for us the first round of IVF stuck.
I went back to work part-time in 2017 ,(when Astrid was 7 months old), and full time in 2018.
Astrid turned 4 in January 2021
A few Months Ago
I started googling “How do you know if you are having a mid-life crisis?”. Instinctively knowing that wanting to google it actually meant I am having one. My work is creative, I have to innovate and solve complex problems, but I am not being creative in the way I would like to and I know that I don’t want to just do my job and neglect this side of me any longer. The little girl who wanted to do messy play and paint and draw and colour and take art instead of a third language and buy crayons and sketchbooks instead of scientific calculators needs some love now; she always did.
What am I Doing About it?
I am feeding my creative cravings with as many kawaii drawings and design that it can handle. I am using the skills I have developed to support my less creative adventures to support my more creative endeavours and I am sharing all of that with you.
What is your creative journey?
Was there a turning point for you?
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